Today, this minority is almost universally mocked, abused and despised. America’s white males seem to be on the way out. Oh yes, white males are a genuine minority; just check the UN worldwide census statistics. Now if there are in general more white women than men, and women are called a “minority,” well? It stands to reason that white males are even more of a minority.
But, unlike most minorities, white men – and especially “old, white-haired white men” – are dissed, accused and blamed for virtually everything which has ever gone wrong in the history of Mankind on planet Earth as far back as The Deluge. Then there was the Dark Ages, The Plague, The Red Death, The Inquisition, The Crusades, America’s Civil War, every World War, AIDS, the subjugation of every other minority, global warming, on and on ad nauseam. Yup, we horrible honkies are universally despised.
Apparently, even we whites have little use for white men. How often have you seen a tv commercial or sitcom in which the white guy wasn’t the butt of some embarrassing joke? The pasty-faced nerd is mocked and humiliated by the spiteful wife, the snippy children, the black neighbor, the blonde co-worker, and even the tv announcer. Kemo-sabe is the perennial Homer Simpson, an idiot who doesn’t understand anything except (depending upon his finances) chardonnay and golf, or canned beer and his rifle collection. Thankfully the wife, the daughter or the black neighbor is there to straighten out this poor sap.
Oh yeh, the white man is a clueless cracker. Proof? Just look at Congress. But, c’mon doesn’t even a white mack deserve a smidgeon of the “tolerance” doled out to every other minority?
Remember when white U.S. Presidents had official holidays? Lincoln. Washington. But when PC infected DC, Abe and George were stripped of this special honor, replaced by some vague day called Presidents’ Day. And the cowed white male rolled over like an old Ford Bronco II. Now the only “official” day which has a person’s name attached to it is Rev. Martin Luther King’s Day. Oh, we still have Columbus and Saint Patrick’s Day. But progressive white historians everywhere are hard at work trying to discredit their own kind, stripping ol’ Chris of his standing as the nominal discoveror of America. According to them, everybody knew America was here well before 1492. Why, according to some, the Atlantic Ocean was awash with ships going to and fro America; the Sargasso Sea was crowded with fearless captains and crews willing to chance sailing off the very edges of the Earth into the abyss. Yes indeed, America was a regular vacation spot for Vikings, Celts, the 12 Lost Tribes, Polynesians, and any non-white with a canoe and paddle back then.
Oh, let’s not forget Saint Patty. Well, he’s a Saint... and his is not an “official” holiday. Folks of all colors still go to work pretending they are Irish, wearing something green to prove it, so they can get hammered at some point. And there’s that State/religion line thing. Which brings us to Christmas. An awkward situation for our PC fanatics. An official holiday dedicated to the birth of some possibly white kid two millennia ago. No worries, his message of love, goodness and peace is being stripped of any spiritual significance whatsoever. Get rid of those loathsome Nativity scenes; more room for displays of expensive toys and video games.
According to statistics, white boys apparently have little ability to play most sports as well as other races. Except maybe hockey, because that's normally played on cold ice; and as we all know, white people live up there where hockey was invented in the real icy cold regions that darker-skinned folks don’t like all that much. But white guys are pretty good at inventing sports, and working hard to make them popular across the world. As soon as the sport become an enormous money-maker, he feels guilt-bound to turn stardom and ultra-high salaries over to other races as a show of his boundless fairness and tolerance. Fairness and tolerance which seem to somehow elude the non-white players.
Recently there’s been a lot of talk about “white privilege.” Statistics gathered over hundreds of years show there is such a privilege. White guys have the great privilege of doing most of the dying and bleeding in America’s wars; from our Revolution (50,000 casualties) to our Civil War (646,392 casualties to free non-white minorities), and saving Europe from Hitler (1,076,245 American, mostly white casualties in World War II) just to name a few. But we still have Congressman like Charlie Rangel wailing about how there is a disproportionate number of non-whites being killed in battle. Wrong again, Charlie. The Congressman apparently is blinded by his bling.
So, since we have now canonized Black History Month, wherein politically correct media outlets (which pretty much covers 97% of them) espouse the great contributions of non-whites, I’m proposing a White Guy History Month. Now let’s see, what contributions can the loathsome white man claim?
How about the very idea of democracy. The Magna Carta. The Constitution of the USA. The discovery of atoms and their constituent parts. Electricity, magnetism, chemistry and its periodic chart. The telescope, thus all the planets and most of their satellites. The expanding Universe, the Big Bang, the size of the Milky Way, the speed of light, relativity and quantum theory, radar, the steam engine, the Diesel engine, the gasoline engine, railroads, steamships, skyscrapers, underwater tunnels, and hey, surf boards.
How about those Seven Wonders of the World? At least five of them were designed by whitey. The tallest structures in the modern world, the longest ones, the widest ones. The brassiere... now there's something we can all hoot about! Let's not forget little things like radio, the telephone, television, computers, compact disks, the internet, iPhones, iPods and Blackberries. How about the automobile and the concrete highways they travel on. Automatic transmission, snow tires, the SUV, 4x4’s and bobble heads to go in the rear window. Then there’s stuff like the aforementioned football, golf, baseball, The World Series and the Super Bowl. Speaking of bowls, how about Sir Thomas Crapper's invention? And its corollary rolls of paper, shower, shower cap and rubber ducky. Most modern medicine, the machines used to diagnose diseases, X-rays, MRI's, microscopes, hypo’s and all that stuff we don’t like touching us.
White boys started up most of the major corporations for which most of you work. The lunch hour and most of its deli foods. Elevators, escalators, fountains and aqueducts. Rockets to the moon. One of us Cauckies was the first to go into space, and another the first to step on a heavenly body. And I personally met Neil in a recording studio, so I know he is white.
Despicable us came up with Coca-Cola, the Big Mac, Dairy Queen, pizza, and Cheezits. Chainsaws, pile-drivers, snow plows, tractors, and busses. He carved Mt Rushmore, built the Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, Miss Liberty, created Disneyland and Vegas. He invented the money system, banks, the stock market and treasury bonds.
Railroads, steam ships, lumber mills, light bulbs, tv remotes, glass bottles, aluminum cans, refrigeration, typewriters, keyboards, wireless, ice makers and ice crushers. I could go on for hours, the list grows longer even as you read this, but I think the point is made.
Oh wait, I just remembered a few more somewhat monumental accomplishments by honkies worth mentioning... nine from Beethovan, four from Brahms, nine of Dvorak’s, and Mozart’s many, many. Bach, Mahler, Puccini and Richard Strauss come to mind as well as Bill Haley and the Comets, and let’s not forget Elvis, Frank and the Big Bopper. I think Michelangelo, Bernini, DaVinci, Rembrant, Shakespeare, Bacon and Spinoza alone deserve a month. I’d be devastated without the invention of the Gibson, Gretsch and Strats. Did I mention moveable type, the printing press and Playboy?
Whoa! ...How could I have forgotten one of life’s very staples... white bread.
Let’s face it, gringos have lifted civilization from caves and animal skins to whatever period you believe was the high point of civilization here on planet Earth.
Surely some of these things make the white devil deserving of one measly month?
Of course, none of these things are allowed to be taught in school now because as we all know, the white male is an irrelevant minority today. Soon, a mere footnote in history. It’s his own fault. Perhaps exhausted from the horrors of WWII, wanting peace and good will, he allowed his offspring too much slack. Too many white boys became, well... feminized. They began accepting the guilt heaped upon him by the envious world, resulting in a generation of white males who are willing to rush out and apologize in public for anything that goes wrong, because they accept the proposition that they are to blame for whatever goes wrong.
But when the hammer falls (and it’s as inevitable as sunrise and sunset... it will eventually fall again), who will don the white hats and ride to the rescue? The flood of illegals? Today’s metrosexual momma’s boys? Hairdressers? Progressive University prof’s? Liberal commentators? The weenies who sit in front of video game screens and mistake it for reality? It will be those mean white boys who by some miracle of nature still manage to have retained some measure of testosterone.
Now, my tongue may or may not be firmly planted in my chubby white cheek, but in fairness maybe non-whites, white women and ladies of all colors, as well as certain self-loathing white males should knock the chips off your own shoulders, and rethink your ungrateful attitude toward white males specifically and whites in general. Criticize away at specific individuals for the things they may have done. But painting all white men with the broad brush of racial innuendo should be beneath cultured people.
Oh, one last suggestion; Hollywood maybe ought to stop glorifying white ignoramuses... stop celebrating stupidity... you’re not helping at all. Just a thought.
