3.03.2013

WHY WE ARE ALL IDIOTS

How, my dear primitive brothers and sisters, can we explain the present state of the world? How can we explain leaders whose entire arsenal of ideas consists of worn-out 4,000-year-old excuses, blaming somebody else for why they haven’t solved a single pressing problem, just so they can get elected? I’ll tell you how. Human beings are basically stupid, that’s how. Not a day has gone by in the last few millennia when there was not a war raging somewhere on the blood-soaked soil of this lovely ol’ blue planet, with brother slaughtering brother for reasons not much different from those of Cain.

The explanation may lie in a bit of forbidden science:

In the vast amount of time outlined by evolutionists on the developmental scale, the human race, on its own, couldn’t possibly have evolved very much past the stage of Hominidae – The Great Apes (primitive humans, chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans). 

It took about 75 million years for natural evolution (if one subscribes to Darwinian theory) to proceed from the order Primates to Homo sapiens – early humans – some of whom seem to be wandering the aisles of your local super marts. Then, “suddenly,” virtually overnight in evolutionary terms, Homo sapiens sapiens appears – fully anatomically modern, technically inventive, creative, self-aware humans. Even more startling is the sudden appearance of civilization: architectural structures of amazing design and size, astronomy, agriculture, the taming of rivers and navigation, domestication of animals, medicine, law, courts, alphabets for writing, weaving, art, poetry, see-through blouses... virtually every basic aspect of modern culture we enjoy today. How can this be? What extraordinary phenomenon could possibly account for this suddenly accelerated evolution, and even more curious, in one specific taxonomic rank? None that science will admit to.

If some natural uptick in cosmic rays, or other outside force were responsible, why did it not affect other species as well? Forces forbidden to be spoken of in the Halls of Science may be responsible. Intervention by something, or someone, outside science’s pat evolution charts. Perhaps those whom antediluvian ancients called “the gods” accelerated human evolution for their own purposes.

Oh, Mother Science can’t bring herself to accept such a theory. Despite a growing mountain of evidence, Science says there is no evidence. After all, they can’t admit there might be scientists far more knowledgeable than they. Who would trust them after that? Well, after their global warming fiasco, who trusts them now. But I digress. Now, according to this “interventionist” theory, the early cross-breeding of primitive humans with these “gods” caused the otherwise unexplainable acceleration of human evolution:


Genesis 6:2 “...The sons of God
saw the daughters of men that they were fair;
and they took them wives of all which they chose.”

This resulted in the first hybrid human family tree, whose branches, from Adam to Noah (because of their hybrid demigod genetics) enjoyed godlike lives up to ten or more times longer than we live today. Genesis then follows Adam’s family tree, and we learn that long life ended with Noah and his kin. The reason (I am speculating here) is this attempt at hybridization was only partially successful. There were so many bizarre offspring that the experiment was terminated with prejudice in The Deluge, with only Noah and his lineage surviving to carry forward the hybrid genes.

After Noah, successive generations lived shorter and shorter life spans (natural mutations are almost always regressive) until they reached a low point which we are only now beginning to reverse. The genetic longevity component inherited from the gods was more and more diluted over many generations

But the hybrid genetic code also carried the higher intelligence of the gods. Unfortunately this too has been diluted over the millennia, leading to what we see today: an awful lot of of birdbrains and chowderheads. A world populated with various levels of ignoramuses, morons and nincompoops. Evidence of this? How about the great number of nouns describing this vast sea of simpletons, fools, idiots, dolts, imbeciles, cretins, dim bulbs, dullards, fatheads, half-wits, ignoramuses, know-nothings, lamebrains, meatheads, dumbbells, ninnyhammers, oafs, pinheads, schlubs, woodenheads, yo-yos, boobs, nitwits, buffoons, nutjobs, dunderheads, losers, numbskulls, featherbrains, imbeciles, dimwits, scatterbrains, creeps, jerks, stinkers or bimbos. And those are just some usable in polite company! Let us not even dare describe the millions of humans who are cerebrally challenged and/or dependent upon others for their survival.

On the other hand, there’s a paucity of nouns describing those whose fullsome code still manages to bubble to the surface: the brainy ones. Every once in awhile, a human is born whose dormant genetic IQ buds burst forth giving birth to a glorious Newton or Einstein or Beethoven or Tesla. Those able to breathe in the rarified atmosphere of that intellectual altitude. But we must remember that even these mental giants were imperfect. Only certain of their “god genes” were stimulated. Thus Tesla was a genius in electro-magnetic wave theory, but when it came to finances, not so much. And I get the sense that Einstein wasn’t able to figure out a pair of barber’s scissors could cut that hair. Few “geniuses” burn bright across the full spectrum of human endeavor, though Isaac Newton and Aristotle come close.

That leaves the rest of us, carrying not much more than the characteristics of homo erectus, with just a pinch of the olden god genes, enough to keep re-inventing the wheel and designing endless kinds of hats – just enough to keep us from dragging our knuckles on the ground.

How many billions of human beings have lived and died on this planet? Yet we have learned so little about the error of our ways, endlessly repeating the same mistakes. We are a civilization flailing at each other in stupidity and ignorance. “Schooling” does little to educate us. All one needs to do is read the comments left by internet readers. Few of us rise much above the level of dolts. Boneheads, convinced we know what we’re talking about because we repeat the mantra of whatever side we’re on. Believing that lies are facts. Humans loving their pets more than their brethren because their pets are loyal and won’t turn on them as often. This is a staggering experience; we are a race on the verge of becoming Wal-Martians, perpetually high on drugs or sports or video games or gambling, dragging our well-manicured knuckles on the ground as we chant around campfires to some idiotic rap tune.

I fear if the gods do not return soon to re-stimulate this genetic experiment, the human race is doomed by its own inability to think its way out of a paper bag. And if the gods do return, they may be so appalled at what they find, that unless they are extremely merciful, we are as doomed as Noah’s contemporaries.

Perhaps there are watchers living among us. Secret agents of the gods, who from time to time intervene to help us avoid chaos. If you are out there, I beg you: do your thing now. We are in trouble.

On the other hand, I’m not sure a race of schlubs is worth saving.