Be thankful; I am merely trying to spare you a painful radiation burn.
Ah... like Moses when he came down from Mount Sinai?
Yes, Moe glowed like Rudolph’s nose. Anyway, kiddo, what’s on our little mind today?
Well, Lord, this is a bit awkward... I mean this subject.
Don’t be shy.
It’s about g-g-g-gay marriage and... You know... um... ho-ho-homosexuality.
Oh. That.
It’s confusing to traditional and religious people. We hope You might clarify it for us.
Clarify?
Culture is changing very rapidly here on Earth, and many of us don’t know how to handle it all.
I thought I long ago made Myself very clear. Did I not? Well, speaking of My old friend, Moses, what did I tell him about all this?
Just a second... let me check it out in my Old Testament... let’s see now... oh yes, here it is. Genesis 2:24...
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
What’s not clear about that? It takes a male and a female to make new generations. Two bulls won’t turn the trick, nor two cows. Good grief, man, it’s just the natural order.
Well... Lord... that was a long time ago. This is the modern era. We can make children in test tubes. People don’t believe in those old rules, don’t You see? That’s the problem.
So. Did Moses bring some plain and simple rules down from Sinai? For instance something about thou shalt not murder?
Yes. I believe he did. Yes.
Do you and your people still believe that rule?
Most of us do, yes.
Is that not also an “old rule?” These are rules of nature. Natural laws. Man does not murder man. Man does not dishonor his mother and father. Man does not lay with man. Your people are a stiff-necked lot.
“Natural” law? What does that have to do with religion and You, Lord?
Let me show you something, dumbbell...
(God suddenly makes space/time around the interviewer change...)
Whoa! What’s going on here!
Can you see how this works? Your science calls what seems to you to be chaos... the interaction of fields. Sub-atomic particle spin, integer and half-integer. Virtual particles that pop in and out of your reality like champagne bubbles. All that gibberish. Your physicists invent equations for all this because they don’t really understand how or why it works. But they know it works.
God, please! My head is spinning! What does it all mean?
Sorry, I should have realized your tiny brain isn’t equipped to handle all this.
(God makes space/time revert to what we think of as “normal”)
Let me show you something, dumbbell...
(God suddenly makes space/time around the interviewer change...)
Whoa! What’s going on here!
Can you see how this works? Your science calls what seems to you to be chaos... the interaction of fields. Sub-atomic particle spin, integer and half-integer. Virtual particles that pop in and out of your reality like champagne bubbles. All that gibberish. Your physicists invent equations for all this because they don’t really understand how or why it works. But they know it works.
God, please! My head is spinning! What does it all mean?
Sorry, I should have realized your tiny brain isn’t equipped to handle all this.
(God makes space/time revert to what we think of as “normal”)
Oy! What a relief. Thanks, Lord.
What you saw there was nature. Cosmic perfection. Natural law. I created it and its rules way back in The Beginning. What you need to understand is that I use it as a tool. I don’t go around zapping wicked people these days. It’s boring. So I give the slightest nudge to these fundamental fields, and it vibrates its way up through the microcosm to your dimension, and in due time, kaboom. Depending upon My judgment, something good or something very bad happens.
But our people say they are just trying to be tolerant. Being Christian. Nobody should be hurt by bias. Tolerance is a good thing, isn’t it?
Tolerance? For good things, yes. Wrongful things, no. Tolerance of unnatural things is a creeping cultural infection. So your culture becomes tolerant of one more thing after another, all of which I told you is wrong. Tolerance of wrong-doing is complicity!
Tolerance? For good things, yes. Wrongful things, no. Tolerance of unnatural things is a creeping cultural infection. So your culture becomes tolerant of one more thing after another, all of which I told you is wrong. Tolerance of wrong-doing is complicity!
You scare me when You raise Your voice, Lord. Well, yes... I understand Your point... but...
Again with the buts. I gave you rules. If you don’t abide by them, don’t blame Me for the consequences.
Consequences?
How thick can you be? Your “sophisticated” culture may believe that what happened at Sodom and Gomorrah is nothing more than a biblical myth. I am here to tell you it is not. So read it...
Okay, okay... just a sec... okay here it is... in Genesis Chapter 8...
And the Lord said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto Me; and if not, I will know.
Now, you can guess what their grievous sin was, can’t you?
I think so. Among other things, I’ve heard it was men... You know... umm... “knowing” other men.
Bingo! And the punishment?
Ohboy...
The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he upheavaled those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. (Genesis: 19)
And the Lord said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto Me; and if not, I will know.
Now, you can guess what their grievous sin was, can’t you?
I think so. Among other things, I’ve heard it was men... You know... umm... “knowing” other men.
Bingo! And the punishment?
Ohboy...
The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he upheavaled those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. (Genesis: 19)
Are You saying You might do the same thing nowadays?
Oh, I might have gone a bit overboard in my anger towards the people of the plains. I shall use a more measured approach this time. Slower. A more subtle nudge in the microcosm. Spare those who still follow My... as you say... “Old rules.” Perhaps more along the lines of the messenger I sent. You know, My Earthly Son, the young man you saw fit to crucify? Did his immediate followers not also warn of consequences?
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error... (Romans: 1)
Uh-oh... recompense. Whoop-ass. That’s not good. I was hoping for a different answer, Lord.
Of course. Your kind always does.
Lord. I hate to say it, but I don’t think my people will heed the old rules. They are past that point. Some believe that we have so over-populated the world that we no longer need so many mother and father marriages... because we don’t need more people. They believe nature is at work here to slow down our population growth. Maybe that’s why they are on a cultural rampage. Soon anything will go.
Yes. Unfortunate.
I don’t like the way you said that. Is there nothing You can do to bring us back to our senses?
Did I not give your kind free will and intelligence to choose between what is right and what is wrong?
We seem to be happy with“free,” but that there will part... not so much.
Well, kiddo, you’ve put in your request... frankly, I’ve grown exasperated by your people thumbing their noses at Me, so I am not so inclined to step in. They are daring nature. And nature rarely loses a dare. Just when you think you are winning... boom! You get your keister kicked around the block again. You never learn, do you?
I must be on my way. A bocci tournament with Micael and the Seraphim on Ophiuchus IV. Then rush over to a distant galaxy to save forty quadrillion good souls who have been praying to Me to save them from a rather large and ominous patch of dark matter (which incidentally might be heading your way next)... it’s about to obscure the life-giving light of the stars in their galaxy. And I must do all this just before afternoon tea.
Ahhsome.
Be thankful. Your problems here are trivial. Just a few “old rules” for you dumbbells to follow. Try it.
Well, ta-ta.
Okay... see Ya.’ And Lord... thank you for the advice. But I think I’ll start refurbishing my old bomb shelter. I have a feeling I might be needing it.
